My first Blog

So. . . after all of the times that i said i was gonna start a new journal or a blog, i finally decided to start a blog. This will be a way for me to release what i have on my mind or just occupy my time. Right now i am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm desperately trying to bring my grades back up after illness made me miss classes. Along with that I am dealing with the hardships of my first college relationship. I decided that i was done with the childish relationships that i had in the past. I was ready to fully give myself to someone. Meaning that he was going to be the only guy in my life other than the 3 male friends that i had. There was going to be no more flirting with guys and entertaining them. I was going to learn to please my man like a woman should cooking, cleaning, and being there for him when his days were rough to just listen to him or to rub his back and just hold him. I was promised that he would be real in return. It all started off GREAT!!! We spent days and nights together and I cooked and cleaned and did what i felt was necessary to make him happy. Then it all fell apart. First, it was said he needed some "me time". I told him to take his time and not feel obligated to call me or text me while he was having his own time. . . then i was called dumb. Then, me posting photos of him on my facebook were called "publicity" and "showing him off". I thought that if you had a boyfriend you could post pictures of him  not to show him off but because he was your man and apart of your life. Lastly, i was accused of trying too hard to please him. I've never heard of someone complain about being pleased, and i dint' feel that he was even as happy as he could be. So, where did I go wrong. It hurts to know that the person i decided to settle down with and start a new me with is backing away from our initial deal of being real and serious with one another. I ended friendships and hurt my ex to be with this person and those are things that i can't take back. Now I'm stuck wondering if I should try to rekindle this relationship or if i should let it be. Hmmmm. . . .